Why Can't Single Pastors Live with a Sexual Partner?

The question that we ignore in this homosexual marriage debate in the state of marriage in general.

In the Presbyterian Church (USA) there are three ways to bring about a revision in the way we do something. One is to change the Constitution. This calls for a General Assembly to vote in favor of the proposed change, then for a majority of the 173 presbyteries to concur with the new language. The second (and third) is to, in effect, change the Constitution by issuing an authoritative interpretation of some part of the Constitution without changing the actual words. This can be done by (1) a rule from the Permanent Judicial Commission (in its decision on a case before it) or (2) by the General Assembly acting on its own. The language of that new interpretation would be something like, “when the Directory of Worship speaks of marriage as between one man and woman, it really means any two persons regardless of their gender.” It is argued that the one man and one woman language is merely one example of how marriage can be.

The central question is the definition of Christian Marriage. In the Genesis Story of the creation of man, a woman is provided for the man as his wife. The two persons become one – that is, they are united or married to each other. Actually it reads, "the two become (for) flesh one." This is a reference, at least in part, to sexual intercourse. Poetically, it reads, "the two become one flesh." One man and woman united in vows of fidelity constitutes a Christian marriage in our book of confession and directory of worship. Jesus affirms this understanding of marriage when he repeats to those who question him about what cause is lawful regarding a divorce. Divorce was allowed for, because of the flawed nature of our hearts,  but divorce is never permitted. In fact, divorce, does not end a marriage - only the death of one of the partners can do that. This understanding of marriage is assumed throughout the Scriptures in an argument from silence. In no place where a marriage is described is it between anyone but a man and a woman. Polygamy is a violation of God’s order of creation but, even polygamy is heterosexual. One man marriage to several women.

Culturally, this covenant is the norm for all cultures everywhere over all time. There were aberrations of the covenant, such as in the Greek and Roman cultures where two men (often soldiers or scholars who with their younger mentors) were united in a fidelity bond that sometimes included sexual actitivies; but that was always viewed a violation of the natural plan.

Our secular culture has more and more embraced homosexual relationships as good and healthy.  About a dozen states issue marriage licenses between two men or two women.

If you are from a congregation seeking a pastor and you are interviewing a candidate for the pulpit, you might ask, “Are you marriage?” The only acceptable answer to that question one of several: “Yes, and we have children.” “No, I am currently divorce” and maybe “my spouse is raising our children.” “No, my wife died two years ago.” “No, I have never been marriage.” It would not be acceptable (or at least advisable) to say, any of the answers given above  paragraph above.

It is not yet acceptable for a minister to live with someone apart from a licensed marriage. It is more and more acceptable for just about everyone else to do so without any negative inference concerning their moral character. There have been cases where single pastors have taken their dates to bed. They stayed the night and slipped out before dawn. In some large cities, where an associate pastor lives, anonymously, in an apartment building, there have been cases where he or she has carried on a “committed unmarried” relationship with another. These relationships, when homosexual are easier to conceal because, he or she might just be our pastor’s roommate or a close friend. But, for a woman minister who moves a man into her bed, or a male pastor to sleep with a woman, it is clearly grounds for discipline.

The same church members, whose sons and daughters are living with other men or women, may have accepted that situation but will strongly condemn their pastor for doing the same thing. Why?

Because certain living arrangement are wrong and certain arrangements are right. The minister is expected to live a morally exemplary life. With Jesus, it is said that he was without sin and yet became sin on the cross. With clergy, we are certainly capable of sin but must strive to be without sin. Sadly, sometimes minister merely appear to keep their sins hidden. Yet, hide them they must.

Why are revisionists trying to get us to change the definition of marriage when so few heterosexuals in our culture are bothering to marry? It is because homosexuals want to become accepted by those who once considered them morally wayward. “If we pretend to be even more culturally upright than their heterosexual sons and daughters, then they will have to “rise up and called us blessed.”

The General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) will either uphold the biblical (traditional) view of marriage between one man and one woman, change it immediately into "two persons," or, attempt to change it by sending the question the 173 presbyteries. The question not answered, is why is marriage viewed a moral good for homosexuals and less so by heterosexuals?