I keep hearing some of my colleagues, who are tempted to stay in the PC(USA), tell me that I could be a “missionary” to the PC(USA) by remaining a faithful witness to the saving power of God through Jesus Christ and a prophetic voice against the growing number of errors so obviously exercised in my denomination. I find this image moderately appealing but I am also having some problems with it.
The selfish advantage of staying as a dubiously noble testifier to the eternal truth of God is that I get to continue my career for another three years and collect my full retirement benefit. I also have an uninterrupted opportunity to be a pastor and preacher. I will need to trust God to forgive me should my participation in this wayward, error ridden church offend Him. Wait a minute! That is not at all good enough!! I don’t want God’s forgiveness because that assumes I am being willfully disobedient. I desire God’s blessing, that is, God’s approval. How do I stay in a denomination that has strained my conscience so much and still remain under God’s vocation for this ministry?
Should I renounce the jurisdiction of the PC(USA) over me, and transfer to a more faithful denomination (Yes, I know, no denomination is free from error.) I would not have Stated Supply or Interim positions available to me. In the EPC or PCA (I don’t know about the Fellowship) you are either a called pastor or you are a member of a congregation. God could certainly open a door to faithful and fruitful ministry for me in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church, especially with so many former PC(USA) congregations trying to transition into the spirit of that new setting. I could trust God to take me to a place I do not yet know exists. Like Abram I could leave for a land that only God knows exists.
There are many small membership congregations who cannot leave the PC(USA) because they are in hostile presbyteries and they are not able to raise the funds to purchase a metaphorical exit visa. The cost of dismissal could be half the value of their property. If you are a congregation of less than 100 members, you might not be able to raise the two or three hundred thousand dollars required to buy back your property from the presbytery. So many smaller congregations will simply stay and stand against the errors of the denomination whose name they must continue to bear. I could serve such a congregation as their Stated Supply pastor. I could help them maintain their current worship program and give pastoral care to the faithful remnant that remains. But, could I do so in good conscience?
When I was still in seminary, I served a small membership congregation as their Student Supply preacher. In a town just down Interstate 65 lived Rev. Merrill Kennedy, an eighty year old retired Presbyterian pastor who befriended me. We would share a lunch together about every week. He got up every morning and continued to study as a “worker not ashamed of his work.” He visited a number of shut in members, preached every Lord’s Day. Everywhere we ate he knew the first names of all the staff and knew their spiritual condition. He had a pastoral plan to either strengthen their faith or introducing them to the Savior. Rev. Kennedy became my model for what my ministry would be should I reach his age. He died in his late eighties while still the supply pastor of that little congregation in Indiana.
Is it possible for me to carry out that vision of the Gospel ministry our Lord has called me engage? All things are possible with God. I remember those prophets, like Jeremiah, who are called into exile with the wayward people of God. Will I, in my life time, see a spiritual renewal in the PC(USA)? Let me finished with a Jeremiah-style lamentation, as my preferred sage, Mr. Dylan, says, (though I am bit more faith-filled and hope-filled than these words might indicate)
I know it looks like I'm movin' but I'm standin' still
Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don't even hear the murmur of a prayer
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.
1 comment:
Gary, I hear your struggle because it's my struggle, too. In my prayer time I was led to the book of Hosea--who had to endure the agony of marriage to an unfaithful wife. It seemed to be a metaphor for my continued ministry in the PCUSA (and yes, I'm aware of the danger of metaphor in interpretation): I am faithful, but my denomination is not. For now, I stay out of obedience--but the day may come when God leads me out. For now, I'm to stand against the tide, to help those who might otherwise mistake what our denomination wants to teach for Biblical practice. It's not a perfect solution and I might be misunderstanding what I'm hearing--but I will continue for now. God bless you and guide you as you struggle! John Kerr
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