I Feel Like Crawling In a Hole

For me one or two mild to moderate stressful concerns I can manage. If you add two or three major threats and I begin to go into a survival mode. We are more than, but not less than, biological creatures. God has made us, in our fallen state, to survive the threat of being eaten alive by wild predators. Since creation fell, we were redesigned to fight carnivorous enemies who want very much to kill and eat us. We are opportunity eaters. While we were uncivilized our survival depended on eating whatever we can and as much as we can.

When we perceive a threat (real or not) certain things happen in our bodies. In short, we stop unnecessary activity. This is explains my desire to stop exercising. We save our strength so we can be ready to defend ourselves against some kind of threatening creature. We also eat as much as we can in order to fuel our flight or our fight.

The Presbyterian Church (USA) is moving more and more to left on the social, political, and theological spectrum. There is a serious move to complete their revisions by supporting homosexual marriage at this summer’s national meeting. They (we?) are also poised to change the wording in one of confessional (doctrinal) documents for “homosexual” to “unchaste person.”   Here is new wording. It is based on I Corinthians 6:9-10.

87 Q. Can those be saved who do not turn to God from their ungrateful and unrepentant ways?

A. By no means. Scripture tells us that no unchaste person, no idolater, adulterer, thief, no covetous person, no drunkard, slanderer, robber, or the like will inherit the kingdom of God.¹

New King James Version

^{I Corinthians 6:9 -10} Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, ¹⁰ nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

 In the past few days I have been assaulted by a cascade of events that have given me occasion to experience considerable stress. I have perceived these events as real or potential threats to my safety and sense of security. A significant number of members of the congregation I serve are poised to realign with a different denomination. There are at least two parties, within the congregation, who have strongly held and opposing views. As the pastor, I accept the responsibility to “manage” that situation.

Every week I draw closer to retirement. My age is sixty three years and six months.  I can retire with full benefits at sixty five. For those of you who are a bit slow in calculations, that is a year and half away. <grin> I can wait till I am eligible for social security and retire a year later. My irrational reptilian brain prepares me to run away from perceived danger. (This accounts for my physical anxiety.) My higher brain functions to moderate this primitive response with reason and faith. My irrational brain prepares me to make myself as small as possible and beckons we to crawl into the nearest hole and wait there till the danger passages.  (This accounts for my feelings of depression.) My higher brain functions to moderate this primitive response with the exercise of reason and faith.

In order to dispel some of this stored up energy, I walked a mile and half this morning and another two miles in the afternoon. I have tried to give some structure to the opposing parties in the congregation by helping them to each present their respective positions as clearly and calmly as possible. They are each basically friends so I hope to build on this good will to establish a report that results in a civil conversation that seeks a mutually agreeable solution. I realize that they cannot both leave and stay. There are maybe 20 persons poised to leave and perhaps 15 who are determined to remain in our current denomination. The remaining seventy or so could follow either of these factions.  How many are there who would support which party is an unknown.

While I agree with those who are offended by the actions of our denomination that does not mean I utterly devalue the position of those who desire to stay in our denomination. My chief aim is to keep the congregation unified and to avoid a split. I think staying in the denomination will drive away an unknown number of members. I think changing denominations will likely produce the highest degree of unity. It is far more likely that those offended by our current denomination will leave than it is that those who have a higher level of tolerance for the current denomination will leave or fight for the property.

There is a sociological law of homeostasis. Organizations do not tolerate uncertainty for long. Everyone just wants things to go back to the way they were before the disruption. If that means casting out the disruptive element, then, so be it. This dynamic and outcome I fear the most.

Boy, do I feel the urge to purchase a dozen donuts, crawl in some dark and safe cave (like Elijah) and eat every one of them.  But, what good would that accomplish?