What is Expected of Me?

I have been reading an introductory book on sociology. It was my undergraduate major and I thought I would see what the science has become, that is, its advances. I was surprised that the core assumptions have remained relatively the same. They still build on late 19^th century theorists and either affirm or challenge those foundational theories.

Sociology has borrowed much more from psychologists than when I was its student. Once Social Psychology was a sub set of Sociology and the kissing cousin of Psychology. Now it seems like most Sociological theories are 

ardently married to Social Psychology.

In its understanding of life stages and their relative social demands, social theorists have a division that begins at 55 and ends at one's first retirement. This is where we begin to wind down and transition into a more leisurely life. Then there is a post retirement productive stage that begins with retirement 60 – 70 and ends at various points depending on one’s health restrictions. Typically this stage ends when one is between 75 and 85 years old. After that is the final stage of life, where failing strength and health, places us in the role of one who is in "need of the services of others." This stage which ends with death. (This is, in my view, a point of transition into a life that is eternal.)

Fundamental to sociology is the notion of role expectation. Every role we play has societal expectations. Even when we are sick, there are things expected of us. We are expected to seek medical care; we are not expected to continue our healthy level of activity, etc. While the gap between the role expectations of women and men is closing, there remain distinctions for each. It is not uncommon for a household to have a woman as its primary wage earner. The man is sometimes the second (lesser) income.

For a man who is the lesser wage earner to retire is quite different from that of a man who is the primary wage earner or the “sole provider for his family.” This was once the norm. Now the two income family is the norm. The expectation of a woman is to earn a wage to the level of her maximum potential. Her role expectations as wife, mother and manager of domestic functions have not decreased. The expectations have simply been added to her role as co-wage earner. In a complete reversal from former times, a wife and mother who does not have a job is looked upon with suspect.

I am suffering some role confusion because the expectations of a soon to be newly retired person have changed. Between the ages of 65 and 75 one is suppose to be productive in some capacity. It is only after one cannot work that productivity is optional. I am often asked, “What are you doing after you retire?” If one says, “Live the life of leisure” there might be a nervous laugh which is a form of a mild sanction. You are betraying a new social norm.

I am just as much a part of our culture as everyone is. I too expect myself to be productive in my post retirement years. That expectation is problematic because, as the trite phrase would say, "my prospects are slim". I am persona non grata in the liberal denomination I am retiring from and would need to earn the respect and trust from a less liberal denomination. I am entertaining the notion of an entirely different line of work. Male dancer, I am thinking.